STOP THE COMPARISON: Be Yourself.

Life is fair, to all, and at the same time not fair, to all too. Funny right? Yeah, very funny. Something that is fair, and at the same time, unfair…it’s paradoxical but trust me, it’s the  reality of life. 

A reality which asserts that we are all uniquely blessed, in different ways, serving purposes destined to us. Mark cannot, despite his Jack of a trade struggle become Stephen. He is created with a purpose, a destiny and a fate only him can achieve. 

Years ago, I used to suffer from what is called inferiority complex, I felt like every part of my life was at its weakest level. Nothing made sense, everything worked against me, it definitely wasn’t so but that was all I could feel…and it was terrible. Then there was this new arrival in my department. He was tall, smart, handsome and everything about him seemed perfect. His accent was way out of our league. I admired him and due to my emotional instability, I avoided him, wishing  desperately to be like him; in all things. It continued till one day, we came to school and amidst chatter and gist, he fainted. I later got the news that he was suffering from Epilepsy. 

“That handsome guy?”  we all kept shouting. 

Two days later, he died. We were all terrified, especially me. I think it was weeks later when a junior approached me and told me how much he admires  me and wishes  to be like me that I realised what has happened. Honestly, I had to shut him up, but I didn’t fail to tell him what I have learnt. 

I learnt something; everyone is tied to his or her problems. I couldn’t stop imagining if God had granted my wish…i would also have gotten the new arrival’s epilepsy…and who knows now, I might have died. 

I learnt to be contended with whatever life gives me, be grateful for it and work for the best in respect to the resources life throws at you. 

I learnt that no man has it all. No man is an island. We all have our demons to deal with, we just have to find it, tame it or annihilate it. 

Most importantly, I learnt that we are all good at something and no matter how ignorant we are of this, someone out there sees us as a role model and prays to God every morning to make his or her life be just like ours. 

I could pass the idea of a person comparing himself with another but it hurts me to see parents compare their children hoping that would jog them up. It doesn’t, and will never. It would only destroy their confidence, make them feel inferior, and trust me, inferiority complex is not a good thing. Support them, train them, coach and teach them, scold and spank them but never compare their intelligence, their smartness, their body or mannerism with anybody. They are just unique in their own way, and it’s only by appreciating them that they can shine even more. That all goes to friends. 

You as a teen, I understand the inconsistencies and uncertainties that abound within that age but there is no future in comparing yourself with someone else, someone you know nothing about. Someone who might be fighting a greater demon than yours, someone who might also be wishing to be like you. The truth is, no matter how weird and awkward you think you are, there is something that you are perfectly good at, and people outside, will admire and wish to be like you just because of that. 

Be true to yourself, live your life and make choices comfortable with your being. And in time, you will come to realise the great giant that is in you. Love for all. 

© E C Michaels. 

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